


Do Not Love (What You Have Loved Before)

by athoroughlybakedpotato (acommontater)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, Gen, backstory according to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9305267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acommontater/pseuds/athoroughlybakedpotato
Summary: Viktor Nikiforov is six years old the first time he falls in love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so curious about what makes Viktor tick, so this is a version of mine on his potential backstory. I drew loosely from Plushenko's lifestory and what seems plausible in the YOI 'verse. The title is from the poem Reconciliation (Примиренье) by Nikolay Shcherbina, as set by P. Tchaikovsky.

Viktor is six the first time he falls in love.

/

When Viktor is six years old, his father gets the opportunity to travel to Moscow for business.

His mother insists that he take Viktor with him- they may never get another opportunity like this. Their town is tiny and options for travel limited. His father doesn’t relish traveling with a child, but loves his son and agrees. He borrows a car from their neighbors, who all chip in with containers of gas and snacks for their trip.

It takes them five days to get to the city and Viktor stares out the window with wide eyes at the scenery when he isn’t sleeping to the crackling tapes his father plays of classical piano music.

The city is bigger and brighter and filled with more people than Viktor has ever seen in his life. He doesn’t even care that he has to wait by himself while his dad is in meetings. When his dad gets back they explore the city and all the new wonders it has to offer.

On the last night, his father shows him a pair of tickets.

“We’re going to a show, Viten’ka.” He says. “Dress warm.”

They arrive at a skating rink and Viktor doesn’t even care that the metal bench they sit on is cold.

Back home, there was a large lake that froze over every winter that all the kids at home learned to skate on in battered skates that belonged to their older siblings or parents. Viktor had only been old enough to go the last couple of years and loved holding onto his parent’s hands as they skittered across the ice. The rink is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The lights go down and Viktor is mesmerized.

The people on the ice float and fly across the ice like nothing he’s ever seen before. Their costumes glitter and shine and Viktor cannot believe that they are real people. At intermission, his father leans over and points to a man a little older than himself who is standing by the edge of the rink.

“You see that man there, Vitya?” Viktor nods. “That’s Yakov Feltsman- he and his skating partner were very famous for their work. They won lots of medals.”

Vitkor’s eyes widen.

“You can win medals by skating?”

(He loves winning- he’d won the math contest in his class at school three times.)

His father laughs.

“Yes. Some lucky people get to do it as their job.”

The lights go down after that and the second half of the show begins. A pair skates together and something in Viktor’s small hear squeezes tight as they whirl around the ice together. After a couple of group numbers, a [single man takes the ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5SivSExnTE), striking a pose in the middle of the rink. His costume in vibrant reds and oranges and yellows, flaring out at his shoulders and feet. He dances across the ice in fierce leaps and bounds, carrying the power of the music in his body. Viktor can’t look away, leaning forward so much that his father grabs him to keep him from falling off the bench. The man finishes his routine and strikes a pose, staring into the audience. Viktor feels as though the man is staring right at him. They applaud and the spell is broken as the man takes his bows and skates off the ice.

Viktor grabs his father’s arm, too overwhelmed for words. His father pats his head.

Near the end of the show, [another solo man takes the ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt32bo-1K58). He is dressed in a deep blue, glittery costume. He dances to a solo violin- longing and lonely and reaching for something unattainable. Viktor thinks he is the most beautiful man he has ever seen. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until the skater takes his bows and his father leans over to wipe the tears off his face.

“What’s wrong, Vitya?”

Viktor gestures out to the ice, trying to come up with the words.

“It’s beautiful.” He hiccups finally, before burying his face in his father’s coat. “So beautiful, papa.”

/

He doesn’t stop talking about the ice show the entire drive home or after he gets home. He dances around the kitchen in his socks, mimicking the skaters with starry eyes.

For his birthday the next year, he gets a beautiful pair of figure skates in his size and he hugs them and cries. (The skates are scuffed up and dirty and worn, but they are _his_.)

/

Viktor is nine years old when the boys in his class start becoming cruel. They tug his hair and make fun of his dancing.

Viktor is nine years old when he truly learns how to fight. The days where he comes home with a black eye or scrapes on his knees and palms his mother sighs as she treats them and urges him to be more careful. Viktor is smart enough, fast enough, that he can get away without landing any blows most of the time.

"Never bring harm to any other living thing, Vitya." His mother scolds. "Our job is not to cause hurt, but to protect others."

/

Viktor is ten years old when his parents truly realize how talented their son is on the ice. He excitedly shows them a routine he came up with on his own for his birthday, gliding around the rough ice of the lake effortlessly.

It’s an easy enough sacrifice to use their savings to send their son to a summer camp run by the best skaters in the country.

Viktor comes back with letters from the coaches telling them that he has promise and potential that shouldn’t go to waste.

/

Viktor is twelve years old when he competes for the first time- it’s not a large or particularly notable competition.

Coach Feltsman from his camp is there, watching him, and Viktor waves cheerfully to him before warmups. He wins the competition by a full five points.

Coach Feltsman tells him that he did a good job, but his jumps were still sloppy and he could put more emotion into his performance. Viktor nods, taking his advice seriously, and thanks him for coming with a big hug. Coach Feltsman wants to talk to his parents and Viktor happily leads him over to where his mom and dad are sitting.

(Yakov tells them that if Viktor is this good with only the little formal training that he’s had, he could be spectacular with proper training. He could be one of the best skaters he’s ever seen. He’s willing to coach Viktor, if they come to St. Petersburg- there’s a school there, for young athletes, and scholarships available. He tells them to think about it and gives them his phone number.)

Viktor is twelve and a half when he moves away from home to nearly the other side of the world. He’s smart and picks things up quickly, earns a couple of scholarships to try and make up for what his family cannot possibly afford to pay. He loves skating, loves getting to meet other kids with the same passion as him, but there are some nights where the homesickness eats him to the bone.

/

Viktor is thirteen and he works at school as a tutor in English and French for the younger students. He skates and pushes himself farther than he’d ever thought. Coach Yakov has weekly dinners with his skaters, he and his wife cook a simple meal and Yakov’s students who want to come over. Viktor is the youngest of them and he is in awe of the stories some of the older skaters have of their travels. He can’t wait to be competing and traveling around the world too.

/

Viktor is fourteen when he wins the junior worlds for the first time, his hair past his shoulders. Haircuts are expensive and he looks beautiful when he skates like this. Lilia teaches him how to braid it properly before she leaves.

Viktor is fourteen and a junior world champion when his father dies in an accident at the factory.

/

He wants to come home to support his mother, but she yells at him to stay, to do what he loves. To see him be able to do what he has always loved is the best thing he can do for her, she insists, she will be fine.

/

Viktor is fifteen and a two-time junior world champion and junior grand prix winner when his mother gets sick.

He skates now to win, to support her.  Losing is not an option anymore. He puts all his love for his mother onto the ice.

/

Viktor’s walking back to the dorms one night after one of the dinners at Yakov’s when he hears a soft whine from an alleyway. He pauses for a moment. For all his strength, he is still slender and small and the alley is dark. Another pitiful whine followed by a sharp yelp makes him whip around and run down the alley. A puppy is tied to a random metal ring in the wall, it’s neck rubbed raw from the rope. Viktor looks around quickly before kneeling next to the puppy. It wags it’s tail hopefully, tongue lolling out as it pants for breath. There’s no collar on the puppy and it perks up when Viktor rubs it’s ears and coos.

He makes a split-second decision.

Hastily he unknots the rope, hacking at it with his pen knife when it sticks. It finally comes off and Viktor scoops the now shaking puppy up and tucks it into his coat. Weakly it licks at his chin and he giggles.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He whispers to the puppy. Viktor only manages a few steps before a voice shouts from behind him.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” He runs, but a hand grabs his shoulder.

Anger floods him- how dare they treat a dog like this and think they deserve it- and he spins around and delivers a kick to the stranger’s stomach with all the power of a top young competitive figure skater. The strangers drops to the ground and Viktor runs with his newly stolen dog.

(Naming the dog takes a few weeks. “Максим, maybe?” Viktor asks the puppy lounging on his lap. The dog looks unimpressed. “You’re right, you’re much too little for that right now. Maka for now. Maybe you’ll grow into it!”)

/

Viktor is nearly nineteen and thousands of miles away from his hometown when his mother dies. He’s out of the country and cannot get back in time to attend the funeral.

/

He is twenty when he cuts all his hair off, desperate to change something, anything. It doesn’t work.

/

When Viktor is twenty-six, he falls in love all over again.

(It’s not love at first, but a potential for love.)

Yuri gives him disgusted looks on the plane ride home from the Grand Prix Final.

“What the fuck did you see in that loser drunkard anyway?” he complains, when Viktor sighs dreamily again.

Viktor thinks about it.

“He made me laugh, Yura.”

Yuri rolls his eyes and shoves his headphones on. Viktor shakes his head ruefully before leaning back to get comfortable in his seat. He stares out the window at the night sky.

Change is coming, he can feel it. He can't wait.


End file.
